Just Me

Roam with me.

  • I've fallen pretty hard to the point where I question my existence. Maybe he doesn't see it but you can only see yourself in a reflection, I guess that's why im always on edge or I tend to go into myself.
  • I've never been one to talk seriously with someone. Although in the past I have tried it was futile I feel in many of the situations im in it starts off fun and ends up pretty bad. I feel I just need to let it go shut up and try hold on to what little time we have left. It doesn't help that I have huge abandonment issues so I tend to try cut it off myself that way it hurts less but I get to the point where I get to this safe zone then I build a wall because I've now noticed how far I've gone and I don't like it.
  • I just gotta sit and occasionally let out a sigh or cry it out. <3 maybe one day I'll get used to it all but for now this is how I cope.
best-of-funny:









making my way downtown

still making my way downtown

downtown is farther than originally thought

seriously though did someone move downtown

maybe i should’ve taken the bus

Day 512: finally made it downtown

damn , the mall is closed . 

making my way back uptown

X

best-of-funny:

making my way downtown

still making my way downtown

downtown is farther than originally thought

seriously though did someone move downtown

maybe i should’ve taken the bus

Day 512: finally made it downtown

damn , the mall is closed . 

making my way back uptown

X

(Source: bootythug, via kansokusha)

Customize me.

The lights are always pretty this year.

I met her near the lights, was only for 5 minutes her hands were warm but I never took my gloves as I went out as he slept..

The next day

I didn’t want him to go but I ended up meeting her instead.

I need to distance myself. I wont be seeing anyone till January.

My unrulely hope.

I’m never sure whether or not I should show certain things to people beyond what they’ve already seen.

I fear being weird in his eyes but I can’t help but give off that sorta vibe. I’m not his normality although I am trying to be. No matter what is said some stuff must be thought about before being revealed, no matter it being the small stuff or it being large.

I have the tendencies to question stuff. It’s my downfall but I also like that about myself. One thing being movies, Yes I can sit and watch a whole movie through without having to read up on some small part but at the same time I enjoy it, reading slight parts up until the point I’ve watched to see how it ties up to the movie (I rarely read passed the point Ive watched unless its something that has caught me in a vice grip and the movie is playing it out verry slowly but even then it’d only be one scene or just the question answered that had originally brought me to read into it).

That’s why I love movies based on books.. The comparisons I can make the “spot the differences” sort of thing Is just another thing that I enjoy but its deemed.. weird. I knew I shouldn’t have brought up wanting to read up about it on my phone I should have left it till after. Shouldn’t have asked so many questions and should have just watched the movie “normally”..

With all of that said and done It’s probably best I don’t watch movies with him as I tend to go off on a tangent anyway and I can see it happening again.

So;

Note to self: Movies are for alone time with myself.

Sad sentence but It’ll avoid the weirdness all together.

I fucking want these in my life right now, where the hell can i buy them?

(via iamnyanpi)

Minimatic

—No Swinggity

pixelavender:

No Swinggity | Minimatic

image

[Gif: x]

Work outttt song :3

(via iamnyanpi)

chogolate:

scruffyinfant:

thesembo:

fuckin—mages:

NORMALLY I WOULDNT EVEN POST SOMETHING LIKE THIS BUT LIKE JUST WATCH THIS SPIDER ROBOT DANCE OK

this is the PINNACLE of human creation

LOOK AT HIM GOOOOOOOOO

If i had half the dance moves this robot had i’d be a salsa queen.

(via wrathe)

I just don’t know anymore.

I find myself apologizing constantly, I’m too far out of my comfort zone.

I need to take a step back and just be silent and look pretty.

So far i’m failing at both.

I’ll wait till you’re done with me.

I find myself fretting over the small stuff a lot.. I should really be making a long post gah..

Right now I’m watching Dredd 3D and scrolling through tumblr what a glorious combination.


I’ve noticed that I’ve fallen too hard for this guy and it needs to stop? I find myself changing bit by bit to accommodate to something i think he wants or needs in order to be useful. At times it gets to me? but I guess that’s where the need to be reassured that I am something to him, I guess that’s why I like making him jealous as it confirms that even just a little what I’m doing is somewhat right. Its stupid I know..

I tend to talk to spjerre about the random questions that just pop into my head or get triggered by reading stuff I don’t do it purposely it just feels that I can’t ask him anything with a serious topic behind it. He doesnt have to think about the stuff I ask about… at least not anything soon.

Like i asked spjerre how many kids he’d want in the future openly without any hesitation. But when it comes to him I’d have to think about the question in hand before I ask him. "Is that an awkward question?" "Hes young so he probably wouldn’t have thought about that shit" "Would asking it hint to him that i want something? Would asking him make him feel uncomfortable with me? Would asking him make him think i’m fucked up?"

That’s what I’m dealing with and it.. leads me to stutter and or not ask at all…

Not to mention that my side of the relationship seems to be more physical than mental but that’s my fault.. Id assume…

The worries of an old person in a relationship too stronk.

pnssy:

I WANT TO CUDDLE YOU BUT I ALSO WANT TO FUCK YOU HARD I AM CONFLICTED

At times I feel this too hard… Why can’t we cuddlefuck?

(via zamekisu)